Monday, March 13, 2017

13 of 31: Sneezes Are...Well, They're Just Weird

The foreboding tickle and twitching of my nose started yesterday. By mid-afternoon, the sneezing ensued. I hoped for allergies, but feared I had contracted one of the viruses that has plagued my school this semester.

This morning as I drove to work taking in the beauty of the snow-covered trees lazily dripping wet clumps of snow onto the pavement, I darn near wrecked my car. No, not because of the snow, but because my nose was dripping its own wet clumps onto my lap. My eyes squeezed shut and I violently jerked the wheel after an aggressive attack of sneezing. This was worse than texting while driving!(Author's Note - I put my purse in the backseat so that I'm not even tempted to text at stoplights, but this proves to be a real pain when you'd like to retrieve your handkerchief from said handbag)

Luckily, there wasn't much traffic and the roads had been treated to prevent icy patches. I made it to school unscathed.

You know it's bad when your school nurse has even called in sick. We didn't have a substitute and so my hopes of getting my hands on some cold medicine vanished. My only saving grace today was that students completed an on-demand writing piece in class, so I had the opportunity to sit and reserve my strength and voice for the two evenings of parent-teacher conferences scheduled this week. The rhythmic tapping of computer keys accompanied my instrumental music comforted me and almost diminished my headache.

So, now, I'm counting. The familiar tickle preludes every stinking sneeze. My eye instantly waters (just the one). And then I find myself bracing either by grabbing a tissue or having my elbow ready. Why did I pick today to wear a white cardigan sweater, which I fear may be a little crusty in the elbow crease by the end of the day?

I'm up to 17.  Yes that's right, I have sneezed 17 times since second hour when I started counting and it's only lunch. Tears constantly flow from my right eye and the reddened skin around it and my nostrils already feels raw and inflamed from the constant use of tissues. Thank goodness for kind parents who donated Puffs Plus with Lotion to our classroom at the beginning of the year!

I tried staring up at the ceiling to ward off the pesky sneeze. - Didn't work.
I tried pinching my nose closed. - Really didn't work.
I tried only breathing out of my mouth. - Still not working and I stopped when I noticed students scooting their desks away from me a few inches at a time.

I sound more and more like Kermit the Frog with each passing period.

I will stop by CVS on my way home to stock up on any and everything marketed to attach colds and relieve runny noses.  I will fight this bug! I only have three full school days, two evenings of parent-teacher conferences, and one after school club meeting before spring break officially begins.

The tally is now up to 26 sneezes...and counting.


  1. I love the sneeze tally! I'm so sorry you're feeling ill...I hope that cold medicine knocks it out!

  2. Yes, sorry to hear you are sick but I did so enjoy this slice! I know the terror of sneezing when driving - and it was laugh-out-loud that you have your purse in the backseat to prevent texting, and couldn't get to the tissues. May you be well soon!

  3. I think it's adorable that you're tallying up your sneezes. 17, then 26. Oye!
    I think I'm coming down with something too. However, I haven't been counting how many sneezes I've had today. Maybe I should start now.